in a bid to make sure i manage to snag a few relatively alright photos when i go to stockholm, as well as the need to be endlessly preoccupied by something mildly creative… i got myself a secondhand camera! i’ve wanted one for quite awhile because i’ve mostly been relying on my iPhone the past couple of years, and it seemed like a good time to pick up something brand new. reviews almost unanimously agreed that the fuji x100s was a great starter camera, so i got that for a spin!
i usually post these photos on my tumblr, but i’ve come to realise that hey these precious things are all too deserving of a space on my legit blog. a little strange because this blog has always been kinda formal (since 2013!), but i’m in love with the idea of posterity and the elusive idea of constancy through change.
some people i love
my mom and the mother’s day gift i got her — a cute commissioned piece from @redbeanart based off an actual photo for reference! funny thing was that my mom couldn’t tell it was us at the first glance and wondered why i got a picture of two random women for her. hahaha i do admit i’m bad with gifts but i’m not TOO bad
my beautiful friend with the flowers drew randomly gifted me with
about a year back, i wrote this in response to turning 21 — i was relentlessly missing my 19 year old days because it was a phase where i felt the most true, most blue, and most brand new.
19 year old shiyin: the soulfulness of jack johnson, archaic readings, pulling dusty books off shelves, the soft hand in mine, the emotions happy and sad and happy and sad at the same time, the confusion, the self-doubt oh so much self-doubt, grey bedsheets and muji pencilcases and the stolen armchair from the living room
it felt like progress as it should be, but i was merely moving in stillness.
i’ve come to realise that while whatever i was feeling back then were nevertheless conveying a convicted sense of poetry, it was definitely not a good place where i should be. fast forward to being 21 and i found that i lost track of who i was and what made me, me — things that i’ve always held close to my heart, and things i returned to with a nuanced comfort knowing that was classically who i am. i was merely ‘worrying about things inconsequential still’, and it truly was. a quandary i was facing was the need for achievement (to satisfy that annoying singaporean part of me) and the need to feel like i was who i was once more. 21 was the age where i chased the paper dreams, and was strangely successful at it – i got most things i wanted, and a few of those were worth it. but i knew immanently that those things weren’t the ones i wanted for my soul.
come 22, and i realised that true blue happiness lies in warm moments, genuine friends who want nothing but the best for you, and finding souls who are so undeniably intertwined with yours. i’ve always chased after the notion of true contentment, and i do believe that it’s not so far-fetched to say that that stems from a conscious sense of gratitude for the big things, the little things.. and everything in between.